Today is a gorgeous Fall day. The leaves haven't quite changed yet in Brooklyn. They are a faded green with the beginnings of brown. It's been the kind of weather that I love, where it isn't cold yet, but you can wear a scarf or a jacket if you want. And yet, I can still wear flip flops to do errands in my neighborhood. I love Fall.
It is October 6th and, in roughly a week, my parents will have their 40th wedding anniversary. 40 years! I haven't even been around for 40 years. (I Am So Young - like so young - so very young.)
I can't fathom a relationship that long. I admire it. I greatly admire it. I have such respect for it because I comprehend that it wasn't ever easy. Far from it. There is so much that can be said about it that is so specific (and I won't divulge it) but I just have to smile and say that: regardless of life, my parents found a way to be in each other's life for almost half a century. You can't knock that down. They have had a relationship, a home, children, pain, joy, and experiences together and it blows me away.
I look at their relationship - and I would even add friendship - from a single person's point of view. Being perennially single has given me a unique view on coupling. I sometimes fear it. There has to be a complete trust in another person. When my mother has been hurt, my father hurts. I don't know if I could be strong enough to endure another person's pain and I think that says something about me, but also my parents.
While this could be a love letter to my parents, it would only serve to embarrass them (perhaps only my mom; my dad doesn't embarrass easily).
Instead, I will take the point of view of my single self. I have had friendships that have lasted from grade school to present day. (I am looking at you: Danny and Tami.)
And I also have friends from high school to now. (Hello, Melissa and Stephanie!)
And it gives me a great sense of pride and love. So much so, that I even used their real names and not used fake names, as if they were the characters of Charlie's Angels! Because Stephanie would definitely karate chop me. (But FYI - I'm totally the type of friend who would be Charlie. Mysterious rich guy, speaker box, sexy detective agency? Yeah, I am Charlie.)
But I am still missing the longevity of a lasting relationship. I meet people. (I'm not a total shut in,)
No, really! I'm not a crazy cat lady! Because I'm allergic.
Although, I do have a big love of candles....hmmm, ok I will rethink the candles (but they smell so good!)
It's just that my parents met and stayed together somehow near each other for 40 years. I have 3 dates with someone and one of us usually realizes: "I want to get away from you!"
How do you maintain an actual interest in another person for years upon years? YEARS? DECADES!!?? Good GOD!
I realize that I am young....ish ... but the chances of me meeting someone and making it 40 years is probably a future I won't have to consider. Unless I meet him today and I live beyond the age of 73. But, with the combination of my dating luck, my actual clumsiness, and prolonged drinking abilities, I am thinking I will be around to the ripe old age of 34.
Now, I'm not saying that the end is near.
.
I just think I probably will find my "soul" mate later in life. Possibly when we have all given up on six pack abs and six packs altogether. Wine is a more adult beverage, in my opinion.
And I hope I can stimulate his interest and our relationship for decades, too. I just need to figure out how. From my understanding, it seems to be the cumulation of experiences (vacations, children, health scares, money issues, home worries and life losses) that seem to bond couples most.
If I could meet a real estate agent who helps me with financing while also helping me to adopt a baby all while we suffer an earthquake or something, I might be able to land that husband. In the meantime, I am going to keep trying at it the old fashioned way: dating. Wish me luck!
