As January 2015 is quickly coming to a close, I wanted to take time to quietly (and openly share on a blog!!!) my resolutions that I made for this year. Just to say: I normally do not make "New Year's Resolutions." I prefer to think I make daily decisions to make my life better instead of just pledging to do so. I guess my opinion is that resolutions seems like wishing and I would rather just be doing.
But, as the holiday season was approaching, I realized that I was in a bit of a funk and ultimately not very happy. I was going through the motions in a lot of ways and not finding things that made me happy. Which is pretty odd for someone like me.
I am a pretty simple guy when it comes to being happy. I love to go for a run. I love to travel. I love to online shop. I love to be around people I love. These are not hard things to do if you have a little change in your pocket, which I was lucky to have.
Yet, I wasn't doing it in ways that made me happy. Or maybe the normal stuff just wasn't doing it anymore. I had hit a personal wall.
In any event, I decided to shake things up a bit. As the days toward 2015 were approaching, I reflected only to myself about some slightly heavy questions.
What are the things I don't do but could?
What are things I could do and should?
What I decided to tackle were two very simple and realistic things to do.
The first thing was that I needed to make myself a priority. That sounds extremely selfish and vapid. And it is. And I don't care what people think. It's not like we all don't need to do things for ourselves from time to time. What I mean about making myself a priority was that I am living this life. No one else is going to do it for me. So, I need to make sure I eat right, exercise right, and take care of my body better. So, it may sound diva-like to make yourself a priority, but the actuality is that I am merely doing now what all people should be doing for themselves every single day.
These are very small things but I was just really bad at the upkeep. Part of the thing about being single is I don't have a spy in my apartment to nag at me about going for that run or simply to brush my teeth at night. Confession time: I really hate brushing my teeth at night. In many ways, I am seven years old running amok as an actual grown up. I know there are other seven year-old adults out there. Join me, my brothers and sisters! Together, we can have ice cream for dinner!
Wait - no! I am trying to make healthy decisions. So, last night was an exciting home made meatloaf with charred Brussels sprouts over a bed of arugula and spinach. I even recently bought The Performance Paleo Cookbook, which I believe will help me to make better eating at home decisions. Small steps, but the victories for me are the doing and not the wishing.
The second thing I realized was that I needed to go out more. I am the type of person who gets completely overwhelmed by big ideas so I try to break it down and find the small things to do first. "Going out more" in a city of 8 million people is overwhelming. It can literally take me an hour by subway to go essentially 4 miles. With that kind of math, I determined I can run faster than the subway. (Fun fact: I can't run faster than the subway. Did you think I was Superman or something? You did? Awesome!)
But, I digress. In order to "go out more," I did 2 things. I combined my love of online shopping and my desire to see more Broadway shows. Through the great people at Living Social, Groupon and Gilt City, I have seen Cabaret, It's Only A Play, If/Then, Disgraced and On The Town. I saw five Broadway shows in one month! My seats were up high but so was my smile. I didn't and still don't care that I saw it in the cheap seats. The thrill was that I was there.
I also joined a meetup.com group to not only put myself out there in the big city, but also to try to meet a species called Single Gay Men. Unfortunately, the first planned outing of the month was a bowling night and was the same night as one of my plays. Instead, I was able to attend a movie night at a Hell's Kitchen bar, just this past Thursday. Going to something like this was a big deal for me because I am surprisingly shy in large groups of people. Especially when I don't know anyone. Especially when they are "Attractive" and/or "Judgmental."
I went all the way there and almost left. Twice. I pushed through my fears and some people (it was really crowded on the 2nd floor) and made it to movie night. The evening wasn't so bad and, while I'm not suddenly the belle of any ball, it also got me out there and meeting people. I talked to some dudes and watched a movie. Life ain't all bad. Small steps and the victory of doing.
What I have found so far is that I am less "results" oriented and more pleased when I am just doing stuff. Who cares if I ran 3 miles or 5 miles? I ran. Who cares if my Broadway show cost $22 in the nosebleed seat and wasn't center orchestra? I didn't.
I have ideas for what the rest of this year will look like. I want to try rock climbing at Brooklyn Boulders. I will join a gym this year. I will run at least one half marathon this year, Maybe more. Maybe I try a Speed Dating night. Or that drink Mixology night I saw online. I think Living Social and Groupon are playing prominently in a lot of these ideas. And that's fine by me.
All I know is: I super duper love sitting my oversized butt on my couch and watching countless hours of Netflix and Amazon and Hulu and Downton Abbey. So, I really do need this crane sized resolution of getting me to do more. And I finally found that crane inside myself to make it happen.
I encourage everyone to do the same. I am sure Michelle Obama would approve.
