Cancelling Your Relationship and Renting A New BF

Sometimes, couples last forever. Like George and Barbara Bush. Silly example, but true. There they are: up in Maine, or maybe down in Texas - who knows? The fact remains, though: they are still together and have been forever.

And some couples take awhile to get there. Ronald Reagan had a wife before Nancy. Good ol' Barbara Streisand had been all around Hollywood before going down the altar later in life to the dashing James Brolin. Even Brad Pitt had multiple (and multiple) pit stops along the highway of love until he landed at the destination known as Brangelina.

(Side note: it's a gross name, and I am totally Team Aniston.)

(Side, side note: did you hear the news that Mike Tyson was on his way to hookup with Robin Givens - his then ex-wife - only to discover she was in bed with Brad Pitt at that exact same moment? That's the kind of low brow, celebrity gossip that is hilarious and awesome and should always and yet never be talked about endlessly.)

I digress: some couples last. And some don't.

Sorry, Justin and Cameron. Sorry, Ben and J-Lo. Sorry, Taylor Swift and whoever you're using this week.

Some couples are for a limited time only. Expiration Relationships, if you will.

That's how it was . . . with me and Netflix.

Netflix had been so amazing. So dependable. So sweet.

He wears red. I love the color red.

He was on time. Every time he said he would be, there he was.

It was all so easy.

I would even brag to friends how amazing it all was. I would want something, and within a day or 2, I had it. Hours of entertainment. Because of Netflix, I was able to catch up on Lost, just in time to watch Season 3 and finally know what everyone at work had been obsessed over.

That was all in the beginning stage. But, oh... how times changed...

By last summer, clearly the relationship had been taken for granted. He started asking for more of me and not in the good ways. It was always the same with him: he needed more cash.

"Why do you need more money? Are you strapped? Did something happen at the office?," I asked. Netflix wouldn't answer entirely. Something about postal fees increasing, but his excuses seemed like ploys. He seemed shifty, uneasy with the relationship, about what we had started together.  The worst part was that he wasn't able to perform like he used to.

His service had been getting slower. Sometimes, I only saw him once a week because he would be delayed, even though his office was just over in Queens.

I stopped trusting him and I cancelled my mailing relationship with him. We were now limited to only streaming.

He should have taken it as a sign. I mean... I had Captain America on my DVD queue for months before I finally got to see it. Captain America? Are you kidding me? I used to be able to see those movies when they were released right away, but now I had to wait... and wait. Waiting a "very long wait" was not what I had hoped for when we had started out.

Well, I was done waiting. I was done with all of it. But, I waited to make my move. I wasn't ready yet to be on my own. In a way, I still needed Netflix. It was still comforting to come home at night and know he was there, even if it was only streaming videos. It was something and, for the time, it was enough.

Over the Christmas holiday, though, something had changed. I started hearing of Amazon Prime. I had shopped on Amazon. It's great. And what? I can get a year of free shipping and all the same movies and TV that Netflix has? Well, clearly this was a potential suitor who meant business. I was interested.

In the end, I made my decision. But what I didn't realize, until the very day it happened, would be how hurtful my timing would be. How insensitive. I never thought of myself as a Brad Pitt, but in the end, I did manage to be so callous.

I ended my nearly 6 year relationship with Netflix ... only 3 days before Valentine's Day.

It was thoughtless on my part. I had been so caught up with making sure my decision didn't affect the next month's billing cycle that I didn't realize what I had done.

Netflix took it with dignity. He didn't ask any questions. He didn't prompt me with any attempt to stop me from my mouse clicking ways. He let me make the decision and he took the classy way out. He was the bigger person here clearly.

Later that evening, he simply wrote an email stating the below:

Your Plan Cancellation Dear Gregory, As you requested, we've cancelled your Unlimited Streaming plan. This change will be effective 02/27/2013.

I appreciated the clean break he allowed us to have. My only regret was how I had let it drag on. I had been unhappy for awhile and I waited to find something better.

It's a life lesson I am taking on into the new relationship with Amazon Prime. If this whole "free shipping fast while giving me lots of movies and TV to watch" doesn't work out, maybe I will go back to Netflix. Maybe I won't. All I know is: in the next relationship, I won't settle. When I order a movie, I know I will get it or I will move on. I expect more.

And I have Netflix to thank for that.