Sun and Then Some Clouds

Yesterday was cloudy. Unlike today, it never became sunny. I ran 8.5 miles on a hazy, grey day. I came home right before a massive downpour drenched Brooklyn. I was still home when a tornado touched down in Coney Island. Ironically, I wanted to lay on the beach on Coney Island on Saturday, but that would now have to wait. Today had some clouds.

Weather is life. Weather is daily, forever changing, yet a constant. Weather - just like life - is freaking scary, too. I mean - a tornado?! On a beach that I have gone to for several weeks this summer?! That is also a 20 minute train ride from my house?!



Yeah, life and weather can be scary. Yesterday, when I saw big, charcoal clouds move very quickly across the sky around 6 p.m., I got a little scared. I lit a few candles. It's not winter solstice yet and it should have been sunny out, but I had to light me some candles and turn on the lights. Like a little old lady, I was fearing the worst. All before dinner time.

My week had been a lot like this. Sun - and then some super bad clouds. My first blog post talks about this. And just when I was going to touch upon this very theme and write a really awesome story - more clouds happened.

It all first started last weekend when I was in Ocean City, Maryland. I took the "I Hate You" bus down to visit my "I Love You So Much" friends in DC. (It's a complicated relationship.) I spent the night prior to our trip in DC before we drove to Ocean City.

Now, DC to Maryland. Pretty easy, right? Yep. Except we went through Delaware by accident and had to go back to Maryland. And I wasn't even driving and everyone was sober. DC to Maryland via Delaware? Who knew? Well, it was eventful. I chalk the incident up to the fact that we were enjoying each other's company so much and weren't following the signs that said "Dover - 30 miles." But I digress.

After the driving hiccup, it should be smooth sailing, right? Nope! It was super cloudy and humid - no sun to be found. But, best of all -  the black flies decided to celebrate my visit and stay awhile, too. I am not a huge swimmer, but I stayed in the water for roughly 90 minutes because it was the one place where black flies won't go. Who would have thought that black flies and Greg would have a fear of water in common? Scientists maybe, and also my friends, but that's besides the point.



Ever the ready traveler, I went upstairs to our condo and made lemonade out of lemons. (Not literally.) If I couldn't relax on a sunny, calm beach without being a landing pad for huge, stinging insects, then I was going to read my book and drink wine. I mean, this was Labor Day weekend after all and I am a vigilant American. I celebrate each and every holiday properly.

Labor Day - drinking.
Columbus Day - discovering.
Halloween - eating.
Thanksgiving - eating.
Christmas - coin toss. Drinking or eating. Or both.
Valentine's Day - eating.
St. Patrick's Day - wearing green. Ahhh! Just kidding - I'm drinking.
April Fool's Day - hiding.
My Birthday - doing every single thing I want to do!
Flag Day - stealing everyone's flags.
Independence Day - drinking.

I am supremely patriotic, as you can tell. If I missed a holiday, feel free to comment on the blog below and I will tell you what I do on that day. (Fun Fact: Groundhog's Day - Eighteen more years of winter??? BLAH! Drinking!!)



Now, the rest of the weekend turned out mostly fine, except for the thunderous downpours that occurred on Sunday night and parts of Monday. While there were a lot of clouds, there was also some sun. And that is the part of the journey to reflect on. The sunny parts.

I found joy and peace - even on my own terms. If I couldn't have it in one place, I found somewhere else to. The wine and the book on the couch of a condo were each great and relaxing. I didn't think about work. No labor on Labor Day, I always say. I was all very Zen and smiling.

I went back to NYC on Tuesday morning, went straight into work, and for the most part, was smiley and super happy - even to start my shortened work week. I love me some four day work weeks (although they always seem longer than a five day work week).

Later on in my work week, I heard some terrible news about a member of my family who had passed away on Labor Day. I found out just after having a great morning. I was able to do an early morning run. I was endorphin high, it was a gorgeous day out and then bam - huge BLEEPIN' cloud. My family member was gone and it was a profound loss for so many.

Life is like that: one minute good, next minute bad. This is all very simplistic for me to say, but I learned early on how to understand death and sadness. When my grandfather passed away, I was in the fourth grade. He was the first person I ever really knew who died and I couldn't understand it all. Why do we get old or get sick? Why does God put us here, only to take us away? Shouldn't life be so much more than that? This was some pretty big stuff for my tiny, fourth grade brain and my parents asked the priest at school to help. Father Graves actually did answer all my questions pretty well and took me seriously. I eventually understood the whole "Circle of Life" thing, years before The Lion King sang it to me.



I think I learned early on that life was not a game. We do play for keeps, but the time here is limited. It's best not to be spent on stupid crap. (Although, watching TV is not stupid crap. I don't care what any parent organization is saying this week. TV is time spent with someone I love: Patrick Dempsey.)

My point (and why I keep cracking silly jokes) is that life can be total crap. You can get lost - in life or through Delaware, but there are more ways to get to your destination. You can have things attack you and even if you can't shoo a fly, you can find your own way out of the problem. Your day can literally be ruined, but there is still you at the end of the day.

This is what I continue to learn. There is still me. I have all the power in a situation, even when it is a problem well beyond my control. I still have control over me: how I react and how I live.

I like to think - and hope - that I will always be able to continue to find the joy in things, the humor when things seem their most bleak, and the reason to go forward. It is really hard when you are just going through your days like anyone, and trying to make the most out of today. But, I hope I continue to do this. I hope each and every person I know does the same thing.

I Am So Gay (and so are you for reading this), but I Am So Not Giving Up. I will fight the clouds. Because I love me some sun.

Love,
Me