Today is the First Day of Summer (and why, yes, I am wearing shorts in April ...)

The first day of summer was today.

Not really. It's Tuesday, April 9th. And I'm told (according to my friends at Google) that the first day of Summer will not be until Friday, June 21st. But, that can't be right.

I wore shorts today. Awesome, navy garment-dyed chino shorts that I roll up so they are just a little bit shorter. Why make them shorter? So glad you asked! Well, I'm not a basketball player, nor basketball player height and I feel all men who are 5'8'' should realize that and stop buying or producing shorts that go below their knees. Shorts are called (oddly enough) "shorts." So, they should be short, right?

Am I the only one seeing this logic?

Anyways . . . back on track: I wore shorts today. And red flip flops. And it was awesome.

Why was it awesome?

Well, it was 80 degrees today. EIGHTY.

Since New York fell to the Ice Age (in what seemed like the real life version of that terrible Jake Gyllenhaal movie), I have been wearing pants - like you do. But, I don't love pants. I love shorts.

So, today was a good day.

Today was also a good day because I ordered some shoes online and they were delivered. I like getting my online purchases. It's a little added perk to the day.

Thirdly, today was a good day (thirdly is a word, right?) because I went to Trader Joe's. Around 6 p.m. And it wasn't crowded. And they finally had asparagus. Brace yourself. Life just got amazing.

I got apples for $.69 cents a piece. Brussel Sprouts for $2.99! The tomatoes were a little pricey, but hey - it's not in season yet. But, I was so excited because today (I declared it) was the first day of summer that I had to buy myself a tomato. Tomatoes are the poster child for Summer, in my humble opinion. Watermelon can be the Jan Brady of Summer, if you ask me.

It also was so warm out that I bought TULIPS. Beautiful, classic, tall, white tulips. Tulips that I had been wanting for a month. Lo and behold - today - on the first day of Summer of all days - Trader Joe's finally had tulips! Asparagus and tulips! This stuff was about to get real, people!

It was all too good to be true. I wanted to sit down and have a glass of wine to calm myself from all this excitement, but I had to get home and stock my fridge with all my amazing purchases.

The Let's Do This jug makes another cameo appearance.

Keep in mind: I had the shoes I bought online. They came today and, like a kid on Christmas, I just had to bring them home. So, the shoes were in my work bag. Okay - man bag. Okay - hand bag. You happy?

You get the point. I had the shoes with me.

I brought 2 reusable medium size tote bags with me to Trader Joe's because - yes - I love the Earth and I bring bags when I plan ahead.

There I was: walking down the bustling streets of Court Street in Brooklyn. A street that I usually love. It's only a few blocks to the subway. Not normally a bad walk, today was a bit tiring as there was juice and almond milk and some seafood among all the fresh produce, so the 2 bags were quite heavier than I intended.

I thought, "why didn't the cashier just give me a paper third bag?"

"Oh, yeah, because I have three and I can barely carry these as it is," I said to no one.

"A fourth probably wouldn't help us here, Greg," I said calmingly to myself. I'm good in a crisis like that.

Just as I got to the Bergen Street F subway entrance, I smiled with the knowledge that I would soon be able to put the bags down and give my "fantastic" muscles a nice reprieve. Or so I thought.

I knew I was in trouble when I heard the sweet sound of "no, Daddy. I can do it all by MYself."

Sweet voice. Harrowing words.

It must be said: I love children. Some would argue that I have the same mind as they do. I believe the Whitney Houston song where the children are our future. Teach them well.

Teach them to let the huffing and puffing 30-something walk down the stairs first. (That's right, I'm not giving you my age with my birthday just weeks away.)

But, no - these parents mostly taught their child to be independent and evidently rude, as I was not the only person waiting a decade to walk the simple two flights of stairs into the subway.

A train must have just left the station, as many people were exiting the subway stop, so there was no room to maneuver around the young tot and her enablers parents. So, with the army of people behind me, we all slowly walked down the steps. One slow step at a time.

Children are cute. They are not, however, the fastest walkers.

This is the one time and place where I am confident in saying that it is appropriate to pick your child up and walk them down the stairs. I'm an adult and even I can't do the subway stairs by myself. If I had the cash, I would simply pay a person full time to carry me up and down the subway steps. It would still end up being cheaper than a NYC cab these days!

More importantly, the subways are tough, kid. I cried on my first day in a NYC subway, lest we forget. And I imagine, she probably cried in one, too. So, let's remember those frightening times and keep our heads down and move quickly.

Her independence prevailed and I didn't. I did, however, make it into the subway station moments before a speedy F train came to relieve me of my fresh hell. So, in the end, it all worked out.

And it was a still a good day. I can't move my neck on the right side, probably from my right arm being dislodged from my shoulder. But my window is open tonight and I can feel a nice breeze. And my tall, elegant tulips sure do look pretty. Yes, today was a good day.