I Find Solace That I'm Not The Only Single One

So, I feel like we have gotten to know each other really well over the past 2 months of this blog. Well, you've learned all about me. I know nothing about you! (Way to keep secrets, dear "friends!")

One thing you may have noticed is that I am single. And that's OK.

It is. It's OK. I essentially feel that if I continue to be perennially single but feel truly happy, then it's OK. Don't get me wrong: I would LOVE to have woken up next to a guy this morning and every other morning that follows. But, if it doesn't work out, then I'd like to think I will continue to find happiness from within me.

I was at a house party last night. A lovely house party. And there were friends my age there. Some younger and some just a few years older. The good news (for me) was that several of them are single, too. I have gone to other parties and it's just couples, couples, couples. I get it. You put a ring on it. But it can really make me dread and then detest the party I'm at. Everyone is holding hands or staying right on top of their spouse. Why? I don't know. Maybe they're afraid she will run away (like Katie Holmes) if given a moment's freedom.

All I know is these parties make me feel like it is" Greg"the lone wolf" time. (And yes: I BLEEPING HATE NEW YEAR'S!!!)



In some ways, I do feel like I have a loner side. Which, to know me, is a bit shocking. On paper, I seem like an extrovert. But, I'm not. I don't like public speaking. I have huge insecurities of saying the wrong thing, and to make matters worse - I do that often. (Like the time when I made a new friend a ball game this week. She happened to be in the closest seat near me and we made small talk and laughed. I then told her she was brave bringing her three boys out to the game. She replied, "well ... one of them is my daughter.")



So, yeah, sometimes the loner track may not be a bad thing. I enjoy my quiet time. I also just enjoy literally quiet time. Some people don't know to appreciate quiet and their librarian lovers resent them until the day they die.

I, however, just enjoy being on my own sometimes. It took me a long time to get here. It didn't happen overnight.

I used to go crazy if I wasn't scheduled every night with some friend. I always had to have something going on. This weekend: I had 4 social obligations to go to and literally made me pause. "That's a lot," an internal warning system alerted. "I will have to drop one of them so I can have time for myself."

But - just as a test - and also because it's the end of the summer, I decided to try to do all 4 things. And I am on the last day and I am looking forward to today's party (where I will undoubtedly embarrass myself and/or say something hilarious and awkward.)

At last night's party, there were several beautiful women and men and like I said - they are single, too. We are all athletic and really fit. The men and women are straight. So, if this was the "Real World" House, guess who was the "diversity?" THIS GUY!

But, it made my head crazy. They're gorgeous and from what I have seen - also stable. They are funny, smart, have great jobs and are easy to talk with. People from the opposite sex should walking on hot coals to get to them. These people clearly are getting it on in some way with someone. They just can't be "single" single. So, I - of course! - asked everyone loudly, "WHO ARE YOU BLEEPING?" (For the sake of the blog, I used a naughtier word. But, I like to keep the blog pure and innocent. Wink!)



By the way, if game shows were really big on TV right now, I am sure there would be a show called, "Who Are You Bleeping?," and Regis Philbin would be hosting it. But, I digress.

My question made people undoubtedly blush, and the question had the force of a rubber ball. Someone lobbed it back to me. And, yes, dear readers, I can take the medicine I give out. I am a big girl and I can walk the walk. (I can seriously walk. Tyra Banks ain't so fierce to me!)

So, I told the recent story of someone I have had some dates with. It drew some sisterhood and laughs. Yet, people were still quiet about their lives. (Except one closer friend. She leaned in and whispered that she's got something on the horizon. Which is awesome!)

My point to all of this is: if you can't talk about it all, and laugh about it, then what's the point? Half the reason I will say yes to a date will be for the experience. At the very least, I think, I could learn something about the city, see a new restaurant or place, and have a memory. Dates allow us to become stronger, smarter and - in my case - funnier!

I am OK on my own, but I also don't want to be on my own forever necessarily. So, I take a chance and I go with it. But, don't be quiet about it. I understand some privacy is important, but roll the dice and talk about it, too. Sometimes the best way I have coped from a bad date was laughing about it with my friends.

Men come and go and even friends as you age can come and go, too. It is having the experience and then finding the humor that is really important. You have to be able to pick yourself up, have a chuckle and grab the dice again. It's Vegas, baby! You be on a winning streak, you may be on a losing streak. But, take a free drink from a surly waitress, have a party with your friends, and roll the dice.



Love,
Me