OkCupid Is Just OK ... Online Dating Is Even Worse

I have been online dating for years. Thanks, Al Gore! You created the Internet and then some idiot thought we should meet people from it.



Well, we probably shouldn't meet people from it. It's a bad idea.

For one, they usually don't look like their picture. Or their age. Or even their father's age.

For two, they act like a computer. They have no bleepin' logic or reason. They certainly don't act like people, that's for sure. Even less so, when you decide to meet them! They lack all kinds of social skills. And not because they are stereotypical computer nerds. No, those days are gone. The men out there are computer savvy yet normal looking. They may wear glasses, but they probably don't play with their Star Wars toys. Having said that, though, they simply just don't know how to talk like a normal person.  TALK TO ME! ASK ME A QUESTION!

Instead, it's like forcing things out of them as opposed to getting someone to just converse. I didn't realize online dating and asking questions would be like a criminal interrogation.

"WHERE ARE YOU FROM?"
"WHY DID YOU ROB THAT BANK?
"WHAT IS YOUR FAMILY LIKE?"

For three, they don't listen. They hear what they want to hear. When I said to one dater that I live far in Brooklyn and would prefer to meet somewhere half way between my house and his, my online counterpart suggested a bar down the street from his apartment. Evidently, one block from his house is "half way" from his place to Brooklyn. And guess what? IT ISN'T!




It's all very simple - shouldn't it be?

No - it isn't. In addition to worrying about my looks (as well as theirs), I have also have to worry about educating others. I have to be a master negotiator. I have to be a superior talk show host. I have to spin plates and juggle. Well, maybe not that, but you get my point.

In many ways, dating is exhausting (a topic I have discussed and will continue to discuss). But, doing it on the web is even more tiresome. You have to be a bigger detective. Is this person real? Safe? Attractive? Honest? Stable? Funny?

And guys on the web are stubborn. In person, everyone can be a bit more relatable. (God willing!) But, sitting miles apart and on a computer screen, guys can be even more distant. On purpose! They will not answer your latest email (even if they like you!) because they were "busy." It doesn't make sense, but online dating allows them to be distant and they embrace like a true man would.

"Work was C-razy," said one idiot.
"OMG, this week has been awful. Sup?," said one insane asylum resident.



And Sup is not a word! So, I am back to being an educator. Fantastic!

The truth is: I hate gay bars. I'm not a big fan. So, online dating is probably the more ideal option for me in this modern age. I will probably have to stick with it, if I continue on this "single, party of 1" path.

So, thanks Al Gore! Let's just hope I meet someone who talked better than you than the 2000 election. I really don't feel like another 8 years of Bush-speak.

Love,
Online Dater