Almost 1 Year Anniversary

As I am one day away from I Am So Gay (and so are you for reading this)'s one year anniversary, I am literally filled with thoughts and emotions.

For me, starting this blog was a gigantic, huge first step.

Many years ago, I called my Aunt Ellen to wish her my support, as she had just found out she had breast cancer. It was a mixed conversation. Here she was - facing a serious health battle, which in just a few, short years would take her life - and she ended up giving me yet another gift and her loving support. While we spoke of many things (how she was feeling, what the next steps were, etc.), she cared way more about me and how I was doing. Can you believe the depth of that heart? It's unfathomable. I am too vain and self involved. I would be worrying all about me and my health, if I had been in her shoes. But, my aunt was seemingly always selfless.

What she told me that day has stayed with me forever. I can even remember where I was when she said just four simple words to me. They were meant as a suggestion, but the way she said was more like a direction. And it froze me in my steps.

Unable to move, and not sure how to reply, my aunt told me what my heart had told me for years. She told me, "you should be writing."

How did she know? It's because she knew me. With that, you would think I would have started writing right away. But I didn't. I didn't write for almost the better half of a decade later.

It took all those years since her diagnosis. I moved cities in that time. She saw me take a big step, just a different one - moving from DC to NYC for a job in the fashion world. She never got to see me write in my post college years. I did write privately. They were mostly scribbles on a pad, a journal, a post-it: anywhere when a phrase or thought popped in my head. But, they weren't formed. They weren't this.

Now, I can be a decisive, swift person. In theory.

Actually, I am often afraid or cautious. When I do make a decision, it usually has been well thought out, as I have debated it 18 billion times in my head, out loud, and with friends.

The idea for this blog wasn't simply thought out in a day. I knew I wanted to do humor. I want to make you laugh. I also wanted to maybe inspire some of you just a bit. The rest of what inspired this blog took time and now I feel like it's going in some kind of a direction, one in which is not quite there yet.

I'm not quite there with what I have and want to say to everyone, but I hope we're having fun on the journey. And that's what this is for me. I am writing about my journey finally.

In this blog - and even in today's story - you will see my look at my past. This past, though, is what has shaped my present and is what will push my future. I am writing about my life in my 30s. In New York. As a gay male. As a single male. As a hopefully funny male. And these are the bumps along the way.

I will always continue to write for those who maybe don't know that being gay is OK. Because it is.

When I write, I am writing to the 17 year old Greg, so I can tell him that everything will turn out OK. That life will have its bumps and we all find our way, even if it isn't always perfect. I hope I am reaching a few others who are young and in doubt. We all grow up. Gay, straight, or super curvy, we all grow up. Things pass. People change. You will always be great.

When I write, I try to make myself laugh. And if I don't, I know it isn't my best blog. They can't all be:

 http://iamsogayblog.blogspot.com/2013/04/reese-witherspoon-is-brunette-world-is.html

OR

http://iamsogayblog.blogspot.com/2012/11/hiding-in-soup-aisle-isnt-easy-but.html

But, in the end, I write because I am hoping to learn something and maybe we will learn it together.

I write because I am single and I want people to know that it is also OK. It isn't the end. What has started as a happy accident of bad dating choices has turned into a deliberate series of conscious choices to remain single. I could have settled down years ago, but I chose my own path. (Not that anyone offered me a ring or anything. Because if jewelry was involved, I totally . . . probably . . . would have chosen the bling.)

Looking back, I hope I make Auntie (yes, I called her auntie) Ellen laugh. I really hope that she's above me - or maybe looking next to me - and that she is laughing with me. She is in on the joke.

For her last Christmas, I had bought a box of Christmas cards that had classic Christmas sayings, but there was an obvious double meaning. Auntie Ellen got the card that said simply, "Merry And Gay." Or something like that. But that was all it said on the outside. No cutesy Santa or Snowman. Just a big ol' gay Christmas card (with something sweet written by me on the inside). And I know it brought her a few laughs over and over as she looked at it, across the sea of traditional Christmas cards to see 1 BIG GAY ONE.

So, I don't know what the future holds for this blog, but I know this: I will keep writing. It's been the best thing for me personally. This is my passion. And making others laugh is also my passion. I like to crack a joke. Some will be zingers, some will be losers, but hopefully we will keep laughing together for many more years to come.

Thanks for reading and being apart of this first year - this journey.
Keep smiling.

Thanks,
Greg