I didn't know what to do for my Jesus birthday. That was my birthday - May 4, 2012 . My Jesus birthday. I was turning thirrrr-teeee threeeeee. And I wasn't exactly jumping up and down for it. 33 sounded old..er... Older. I was older.... Again. Older again.
I am and was single. Single and older. Single and 33.
So I was stumped. I liked 32.
32 was decent.
32 seemed young, but 33 seemed older.
You have to laugh about the things you do to yourself. And the road blocks you create. We all likely have that secret number birthday we have dreaded. Mine was 28. And also... 30. 30 seemed rough. But, both seem super fun in hindsight. At the time, I was like 28 - oh no! God! 28? Bring it!
And yet, 33 was a road block for me. I had to find a detour to 33 that made me feel great about a birthday number that I didn't like. The truth was: I needed to feel great not just about 33....but about 33 and alone.
I didn't have anyone planning my birthday for me and that was the actual present I wanted that year. I wanted something planned for me. And I had no one to do it. Husbands do it. Boyfriends have to do it if they plan on getting any birthday sex out of you (which is really the best sex- right behind dirty vacation sex. Vacation sex is just the best.) But I digress.
So, after a bit of planning on my own.... I landed on the Mets. Yep. Baseball. Because straight men, tight pants, overpriced booze and bad food is what I love. I know! But love just happens and you can't help what you love. And I had never been to the Mets. It was on my bucket list of NYC things to do before I one day blow this town. (Not literally.)
(Although, that would be something for the Guinness Book of Records now - wouldn't it?)
So, yes: The Mets. And, thanks to my close, personal friend Mark Zuckerberg, I was able to amass a group of my friends from Facebook who were interested in partaking in America's Pastime (more commonly known as "Get Greg Drunk." For centuries, "Gregs" all over the world have been drunk. Not surprisingly, many casualties result.)
The weather forecast for the game initially called for sun, but yep - you guessed it...as the day came...40% chance of rain. I am a risk taker in some small aspects of my money (a cheap tee shirt at Joe Fresh? Ok!) But forking over $200 for everyone's tickets and risking rain in a town with unpredictable weather??? NO DEAL!!! So, I chose a local bar in Williamsburg I had always wanted to go that also had skee ball. And Skee ball just fraking rocks! I am big lover of the skee. (You are learning so much about me!)
But what to do before seeing all my friends later around 7 pm on May 4? I had a whole day off from work and it was a Friday and Fridays are just the best day to not be working. Oh, did I fail to mention that I always take off from work on my birthday? Well, yup - I do. Always. (If work obliges.) And let me tell you - besides reading my blog several times a week, showering daily, and learning how to flirt well - NOT working the day of your birth will the be the smartest thing you ever do.
So, I decided belatedly to treat myself. It was T minus 2 weeks until 33 banged on my door. And I had to answer that call sadly. So how do I bust that door down? Well, you guessed it.... Broadway. I am gay. So I went to my home. The...Theater.
I NEVER go to Broadway or shows, and - believe it or not - that's an actual crime in New York City. I served 5-7 at Rikers for not seeing 1 play a year. And the Rikers Players' Community Theater is just so poorly funded. So, I learned my lesson when I busted out and decided to see the best of the best. It was my birthday and I "survived" prison after all. So, I threw down an obscene amount of money for something I really wanted. Which, beside reading my blog, using deodorant, and learning how to kiss insanely well, is also the BEST possible thing you could ever do FOR yourself. Splurge once. Occasionally. Because as I learned in the Summer of 2006 - which was when I moved to NYC - if you don't treat yourself, no else fucking will. And that's the fucking truth. Fuck. (Soap washing my mouth as we speak.... thanks Mom!)
And I'm back. So. what was the play I wanted to see? THE BOOK OF MORMON. Much like this blog that I finally started, and the red shoes I wanted from online, The BOOK OF MORMON was something I really, really, really wanted for a very long period of time. And it seemed so impossible. There is a lottery to try to get tickets. Tickets can be like $300. You have to sleep with 10 guys named Joey, and walk through a circle of fire. But, I chose the easier way. 2 weeks before my birthday, I woke up early on a Sunday and walked to the theater, and stood in line at 11 am at the ticket booth. I stated my desired dates, told the 65 year old ticket lady that it was my birthday - and this was all I ever wanted. It helps to seem like the bright eyed new girl in town when you really want something. And bam - she got me in for the night before my bday - May 3rd - in a partially obstructed view (which was actually not obstructed - just really high). And I went alone.
But not so alone, that I didn't get to meet THE STAR. AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH HIM.
AND GET HIS AUTOGRAPH. AND SLEEP WITH HIM. I'm kidding. I didn't sleep with him. (That he knows of. Wink!)
But here's the picture with me and the star Andrew. Beautiful and talented. Tony nominated. And Andrew isn't too shabby either!
Since I was alone, I had to trust and then BEG the security guy, who for the purpose of this web site I shall call Salvatore, to take my iPhone and snap a picture. Salvatore was all thumbs. Literally! His thumbs were HUGE, and he cut me out of most of the picture. But he got most of me. I was there. I didn't shove some blonde chick out of the way to get the picture (shoving a blonde chick is mean and it's far better to kick them for having better hair than me.)
Well, Salvatore, thanks for not stealing my iPhone and thank you for making my pre-game birthday awesome. I may have been alone. But I made some memories.
And.... I LOVED IT. It was date night with myself.
And I continued the date the next day.
A morning run. Just... like 2 miles, because I wanted to feel the runner's high but not go crazy with myself.
Parks and Recreation on Netflix over a homemade breakfast. (Watching - what else? The Parker Posey Episode with Ron Swanson's Birthday. LOVE!!)
Facial at Dermalogica Spa.
Shopping in Chelsea and Flatiron. I got a free gift from Sephora. Thanks Birthday Club!
Lunch at Almond - pre-fixe! And yes, the waiter did flirt with me. And yes, the waiter did bring me a second complimentary glass of wine. And yes, he did bring me a free chocolate mousse too. And yes, I did tip him well, because he was great but also HOT DAMN - I was grinning silly after a facial and 2 glasses of great wine and seafood.
Then, I went and finally saw Mr. Guggenheim. A museum I had always dreamt of seeing. Because it is absolutely a wonder to walk around a building that twists and turns and goes up and up. And no view is the same as you walk inside and look around. It is a wonder. A gem. And the art is decent, too! But, for me, it was all about Mr. Guggenheim. Worth the money and romantic in all the ways I need to be fed. I had never been and always wanted to. So, one bucket list NYC thing was checked off the list.
It was a romantic, fun, carefree day with myself. I was on a high. An absolute state of euphoria. I kicked 33's sweet little ass (more vulgarity, more soap.) But it's true. Shopping, exercise, booze, culture, sight-seeing, celeb sighting, pampering and WOW! I was so happy with myself and this little special day I made for myself.
By the time I met my group of girls at Full Circle Bar, I realized once again....I was never alone. You're only alone if you feel alone and because I had myself, and loved every minute, I was never alone. I was with my best friend. I was with my soul mate, my confidant, and the person who knows how to make me happy.
And I was happy. Grinning ear to ear happy. (And my ears are quite big!)
It took me years and years, and it wasn't until I was 30 years old before I learned this. And I had forgotten it at a very critical time, when I needed myself the most. It's hard to be single, it's hard to be alone - for so many reasons. But if you love yourself, really love yourself, and enjoy every peaceful single moment - you're never alone. I saw and thought of things that reminded me of friends (an ad on a building for Dark Shadows made me think of Jill, for example) And sure - if I had been with anyone during these 24 hours, would I have had a blast? Of course. But I had a blast all the same. All by myself.
And that was just fine by me.
Love,
Me
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