I Am So Single .... Single and the City (Single, Party of 1)

I know, right? Life must be one "Sex and the City" episode after another. Nope.

Ever watch a TV show and all the characters get a drink after work, and are all involved in each other's personal lives? Nope, not that either.

Or maybe I live in a glamorous apartment building with a pool and all the resident dwellers commingle and sleep together? Nope. I live in a second floor walk up. No pool, unless you count my bathroom and the worst bathtub I have ever had (and I love bathtubs. God, I miss a good bathtub.)



Living in New York ... well ... life on a random night CAN actually be like a Carrie Bradshaw affair. But, on most days, I'm just trying to survive the rat race among all the rats.

I work, I run, I watch Netflix, I sleep. And in between I eat and I drink. And that's about it a lot of the days. It's not all parties and dates and amazing things.

Now, don't get me wrong. Lots of writers and singers... filmmakers and artists and ... people... have made essential love letters about New York. New York, New York - it's a helluva town. It's fast paced and there can be a lot to see and do. And I do.

I have seen Broadway shows and celebrities walking down the street (rare for me, though). I get to shop at the Flagship stores for any major retail chain (crowded, sometimes, though). I get to spend money on overpriced drinks at amazing beautiful and fun hotel bars.

And I get to go to the Yankees! Yes! I finally did - just this past Thursday. They lost, but I saw Jeter and A-Rod play and the stadium was big and clean and awesome. (Big thanks to my friend, Joel - who gave me the best belated birthday present a guy could ask for. I am pretty sure I smiled a lot that night, even when we had to cram onto the very hot subway with every other Yankee fan.)

So, that brings me to what I get to see! I have seen the Statue of Liberty twice every day, while I ride the infamous NYC subway on my way to work for the past 5 years. I see the Empire State building in the horizon every day from my office building. And I have seen the World Trade Center memorial. I have seen historic beautiful city buildings and parks - legends that stand tall in arguably the best city in the world.

I have also seen homeless people daily. Poverty in people, and poverty in full neighborhoods. Areas that are so dirty that I hope to never go back. (Williamsburg, I am talking to you.) I see parts of the city that are run down and you wonder why. In my opinion, regardless of the above, the good DEFINITELY outweighs the bad.






For me, though, this is really just where I live. It's just as special as the town or city that you are in at this very moment. And my life is no different from yours. But, maybe it is ...

You have children. Or a spouse. Or two jobs. Or no time for yourself. Or money is a concern (looks like we may have some things in common, after all. On that one - who isn't concerned about money ever?)

The point is: if you aren't single, like I am, then we are different. And you may hate me. But I hate you, too. You have things that naturally obstruct your life. You have a kid that you have to do everything for whereas I got myself - and I can take care of this guy. So, I may have time on my side today and tomorrow, but you have some enviable things, too, girl friend.

Sure, there are things for you to envy. I try to fill my life with simple, fun adventures. Because every day should make you happy. So, you should find some thing, one thing, and do it - to make yourself happy today. A run. A funny book - my blog even! Or maybe just an after work cocktail. (These are just my personal faces Or you could always online shop like I do - http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=M5W50P93x%2FIypJry1Er1Xg%3D%3D)

I know none of that is easy when you have responsibilities beyond yourself. Does this make me luckier? Maybe. But, maybe I just chose life differently. And this is ok.

Don't hate me for having this time to myself, and I won't hate how you get to sleep next to someone who loves you (hopefully). I have my pillow, and while Fred the pillow is comfy, he's hardly companion worthy.

Don't judge how I spend my money on things that make me happy simply because I can do that. And I won't judge how you get to shower your family with surprises and meals and vacations and photo albums of people all together and smiling.

Don't feel sad for me because I am single, and I won't feel sad for you when your days are hard yet rewarding - because my days are also hard and also rewarding. Pity on either part is just wasted energy. I definitely don't pity you, even when your kid throws up on you or says they hate you. I just think that's a hard day, but a good one is around the corner for both of us.

I have met many people who look at single or look at living in New York as some kind of viral infection and hopefully with some medicine (and a little bit of luck) this will all get cleared up soon. Get that prescription, a husband, a minivan, and a 2 floor condo, and whew! You'll be all better then!



Well, guess what? That's not the case. Just because your life is yours, doesn't mean I should also live it to validate your choices. These are my choices. Yes! I made choices. Who knew? Sure, I could have settled down with someone I had no connection with and wasn't attracted to. He was nice and showered me with his affection and stability. But I didn't like him. So, yes, I made a choice and proceeded to live my life.

I have no regrets. Do you? I hope you don't.

So, let's all like each other. And be good to each other - not just in actions, but words and thoughts, too.
Because - believe it or not - single people can pick up on your thoughts and how you say things to us. We aren't immune to your bias.

Just remember: your life is good ... and so is mine.