Well, Donna - there are some Bad Boys, too. There are a lot of them. They are hot. Even if the guy isn't a model - he is hot! Why are these absolute idiots so hot? What makes them so damn irresistible?
They just smile for two seconds at us, and we have melted to the floor. The worst part? They don't necessarily look "BAD." They are clean cut. They have good jobs. One of mine was an architect for God's sake! (Lord's name in vain - but he was a friggin' architect!) But, on the other hand, he also had tattoos. Yup. Oh, the tattoo. Yeah ... that's "BAD."
Sure, they don't all look like Fonzie. (Although one guy did have dark hair and use way too much product.)
But, just like Fonzie, they can snap their fingers and we come walking. OR running in my case! No - literally! I literally started running for my Fonzie. His name was Erik. And he had the body of smaller, mixed Asian god. He was exotic looking. I think he was Hawaiian/Latin/Asian or something. You couldn't quite put what ethnicity in any way he was, but he wasn't ol' Irish McGee like me. He was TAN. I love a good tan (mostly because my version of a tan takes me an entire summer to build and most people get that way in a day.)
Erik was also ripped. And he smoldered. He did this thing with his eyes. He squinted. Oh yeah - he squinted. And then he smiled. It was great. Tattoos and eye squinting - hear that fellas? That's how you can win me over. Applications are available!
The point is, though: Erik was irresistible. He was actually funny. He was smart. He was athletic. We liked some of the same things, and movies, and places. He was interested in me. He talked to me. He FLIRTED with me. And we kinda started to date. Wow. This was awesome. Seriously, a huge ego boost!
And because he was so fit, and also ran, I started to run! I ran 4 miles one night to get in better shape to get him to like me more. What? Yes. I did something to make a guy like me more. It was crazy. And I did it. I wanted to not only seem more athletic and give us more to talk about, I wanted to be thinner and more attractive so he would become infatuated with me. Needless to say, I fell in love with running, and not with him, but more on that later. Back to Erik.
Did I fail to mention that Erik had a Superman costume? Well, he did. It was Halloween. But, yeah ... he was my Superman.
What happened with Erik? Well...what happens with most guys that are not that serious? They casually see you. Usually in the worst possible ways. They ask you to "hang out." Yep. "Hang." Because we are monkeys. Dating monkeys in a Jane Goodall experiment? Nope. Just idiots who don't know how to make a connection happen.
So, we hung out. While he was very fun, I am sure I just didn't ring his bell as much as some other hot little Chelsea boy probably did. He just never seemed 100% into it, which really made me sad every time after I would see him. I liked him, but I started getting frustrated because this was going nowhere and he was impossible to schedule.
"Men who are too busy to meet" is the third category of qualities/behaviors that absolutely infuriate me.
Things Greg hates: An Introduction Into Frustration
1. People who slowly walk up subway stairs. "You are 19 years old. I am 33 and have pre-arthritis. And I am bouncing up these stairs - so move already," I say to no one.
2. People who blame their situation on other people or don't realize when they do they very thing they constantly complain about. "You hate when people use their phones in a crowded restaurant and talk really loudly? Is that your mother calling? Sure, yes, you should take that call. No, I don't mind..." (You get the point on this one. People do things all the time that they hate when other people do them. I am probably doing it right ... now.)
And finally....
3. Men who are too busy to meet. "Oh so you have the Boot Camp on Tuesday? Wow, I didn't realize that was a 3 hour commitment. Ok, so Wednedsay? Oh, you have that thing with your group of friends and go out to the bars after. Ok, so Thursday? There is an after work party for a new book? Ok ... hmmm ... so how about the 3rd Tuesday of the month after next? PERFECT!," I say to no one because all our communication was done by TEXT MESSAGE!
None of the us are the leaders of our own small country, so if you can't pencil someone in during the week, then why are you trying to date? Oops. You're not. Right ...
So, back on point: these guys honestly drive us crazy. I am including you in this, because you know it. I know it. We want them. We want the BAD BOYS. But, more importantly - we want them to WANT US MORE. But, we unfortunately will always want them more than they want us.
The good news: they also want someone who doesn't like them all that much - so at least we can find comfort in that. They will be miserable, too. Yay, sadness for everyone.
What? NO! No sadness for you and I! Why? Because it is too much energy to waste. ALL of that is too much energy. We put so much effort and time and thought and emotion and UTTER CRAP into what some other person thinks of us. And they aren't thinking if us in return. So, it's not worth it.
The TOTALLY amazing and wild side of this card is: WE ALREADY KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS TOTALLY INTO US. We just don't want him. And that is the really sick part.
We don't want to be wanted. We have this guy, who he is less than interested but keeps us dangling with unfulfilled promises of the possibly of "hanging out." I literally chose to see this completely separate "BAD BOY" over someone who was really interested in me. (Erik was since long gone, but I hadn't learned my lesson.)
The "dare I say good guy" was very, very interested in me - sweet, attentive and (best of all) thought I was really funny and attractive. He had even planned a dinner and a whole night. But, it just didn't seem right. Instead, I chose to meet this guy to "hang out." TWO HOURS BEFORE the "date," he texts to say that a friend is in town and he will have to meet the friend for dinner at 10, but I could come over for a few and hang out with him and have a drink on his roof top. Wow.... well, thanks for that! I went from a really sub par offer to a further depressing choice. Thanks. So, what did I do? I played it cool and followed through. And have to yet to get a text back from that guy. Needless to say, friends, BAD BOYS are called BAD for a reason. I made a BAD choice, and I think I have finally learned a bit from it all.
We have to put our energy toward things where will get results. You don't invest in a savings account and think.... "so long, money! This is fun watching you burn!" No! You hope to get at least the money you put into it and hopefully some interest, too. A savings account is building something - a future. And that's what we need to do. If only I was handy. Seriously, I can't even hang a picture frame. (My cousins, Patty and Mary, and friends, John and Jill, can all attest to this.)
I have said this before: I am 33. (God help me ... I need a drink.) But, it's true. I am 33. I have to shake off the fact that unavailable men, or distant men, or players, or noncommittal men, or simply MESSED IN THE HEAD men, are times wasted! I need to be able to spot these losers quickly and dodge them like this is 4th grade "gym class style" Dodgeball. Because getting hit in Dodgeball almost always hurt. And it hurts just the same when we are out there dating and get slammed with BAD guy #67. They may not look bad. But there are signs. And to help you, I will list some out:
- He texts. Always texts. (BIG sign)
- He is too busy...always... like his schedule is worse than Obama's, so don't even get me started.
- He dresses better than you. Just believe this. You should always be prettier than he is.
- He is super athletic. This isn't a hard rule, but it's been proven more often than not.
- He "Facebooks" or emails you. What? No texts ... hmmm ...
- "Hang out" becomes the word used instead of asks out, date, dinner, movie.... you get the idea.
- You don't hear from him for a month or two! and then suddenly WHAM! He's back!
- He spends money like water. I've never trusted someone bad with money. He's too wild.
- You may get the feeling by pictures in his apartment that he may or may not actually be single. (Seriously, look at the photos. Pictures speak a million words, right? Yes. It is correct. I am not lying here!)
- And.... #10..... he rarely (if ever) compliments you.
You may be so blinded by their good looks or squinty eyes/tattoos/Superman costume....you may not notice this. Number 10 should be paid attention to. It can go by casually. But make sure a guy always flatters you. If he is not trying to woo you, then you must shoo. Follow the woo!
My big point is: we need to be treated like the star of the show, and guys - we will make you feel like the star of the show, too. It has to be a 2 way street, friends. If you are walking down a one-way, grab a friend - a real friend. We will tell it to you straight (or gay - it depends) and tell you the truth! You must always be on the 2 way road to love. I hope I can find my map. I'm ready for a road trip!
Love,
Me
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