Friday, July 27, 2012

I Am So Travelling.... I Am So Gay Has Hit The Road!

I Am So in D.C.!

Technically, I am in Arlington, Virginia. I hopped on a Bolt Bus and busted out of town, right before some crazy thunderstorms dominated New York last night. (I am nothing if not known for my excellent sense of timing, which is usually bad timing.)

But, let me tell you about the sheer joy of a vacation from the city. Really, it's an exhausting, sweat -filled journey any time you try and flee the city. It gives me no hope if I were to somehow be in a disaster movie-type situation. Inexplicably, I have lived in both Washington, D.C. and New York City. Both cities are pretty much always the settings for our modern day disaster movies.

I remember watching movies like Independence Day and I Am Legend. Among millions of people, both Harvey Fierstein and Will Smith's family meet horrible fates when they try to escape from the island of Manhattan.

In Independence Day, Harvey Fierstein played a gay male (typecasting) who was on the phone with his mother (typecasting) when a big ol' fireball goes through the Holland Tunnel, burning him alive. I could make a joke about a flamer dying by fire, but I will digress.

In I Am Legend, Will Smith's family (at the very beginning of the movie) get put into a helicopter fleeing Manhattan. Then, the helicopter is suddenly hit by a missile and it flies into the Brooklyn Bridge. The very bridge I would need to leave Brooklyn!



As you can tell from that destroyed Brooklyn Bridge in the movie poster, it won't end well for me if I am in a Will Smith movie. Both of these movies starred him and both times, NY-ers didn't fair very well. Needless to say - if I ever see him in real life, I will definitely be running in the opposite direction. Nothing good can ever come from Will Smith.

Back to my point: it isn't always as easy as hopping in a car and hitting the road. First of all, I don't even have a car. (Donations are welcome!) With no auto, I must rely on mass public transportation. I always take at least 3 forms of public transportation (with complete strangers) any time I go somewhere. (It's usually a subway, train or bus, then car. Don't we miss the days when it was all conveniently done by horse and buggy? No transfers!)

The first leg of my trip is the worst. I always take a subway to catch any ride out of the city. Why? Because I have to. And the subway alone has caused me to earn some grey hairs. I have actually missed a train to go to Massachusetts simply because the 2/3 train just sat at Chambers due to a "delay." I sat there and no announcements were made. The doors of the train were open and all passengers just stared at each other. After the announcement, I hopped out of the subway and tried to find a cab - to no avail. So I ran - literally - with my luggage to another avenue over and caught an A train, which crawled to Penn Station.

And so, I still missed my Amtrak train by - yes - five minutes. FIVE MINUTES! The same five minutes spent while sitting on the subway, wondering why it wasn't moving.



That day, I was forced to spend more than 2 hours and over $30 drinking my time away at ... you guessed it ... T.G.I. Fridays. It was "happy hour" and also a Friday - so I imbibed and wondered how life got to be this way. Was it worth the grey hair? No. It was not.




Other times, I have been on a bus where the kid behind me kicks my seat and cries the whole trip. And then I end up crying the whole trip, too. Or sometimes, the bus smells odd. A smell that can only be described as a food/foot hybrid. Last night, on my trip out of NYC, I was fortunate to experience ALL of that.

Regardless, it is always very fun to get out of the city and go see friends and family. I absolutely love to travel and see new places or see familiar faces. I hope to share my travel with you in other blogs because I think taking trips to places (new and old) are invigorating and good for the soul (my soul, at least.)

This weekend, I am seeing Delilah and Drake - oops I mean, John and Jill - in the DC area (an area where I used to live). So, in a sense, it's like being home again and with my family. I enjoy that a lot.

But, if I see Will Smith, I am getting the hell out of here. Seriously, that guy is good for no one.

Love,
The Traveling Gay

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