The resonance of Sex And The City is still really shocking to me. The show ended in 2004, a movie with all of the characters came out in 2006. And then a horrible sequel a few years later made us want to scratch our eyes out. Even after that final and really bad entry into the saga, people still talk about. The show started literally in the late 1990s and we still can relate.
Are we still dancing the Macarena? Nope, but Carrie and her gal pals are still popping up around me.
Maybe it's because I live in the Big Apple, and so did the characters. But, is that why people (and by people, I mean women and gay guys) still talk about this show?
Do we miss a TV show that we can identify with?
Do we just miss being able to label ourselves?
We must! Because I cannot - honestly I cannot - tell you on how many dates, a guy has asked me, "You are a Charlotte, aren't you?"
First off, no - I cannot tell you many dates I have been on. It's been a lot. Painfully, a lot. Please pity me.
Secondly, gay men love this show. It's probably the clothes and then the male nudity. We gays love our clothes and male nudity. It's all candy to us.
Lastly, and most importantly, you have to love being asked what is really a statement that was simply put to in the form of a question. You are telling me what I am, but then giving me the option to disagree. I prefer to be asked. If you are a robber, you don't ask, "I'm going to take your money now, can I?" So, no, you don't ask a person a question within a statement.
But, back to the point: it is REALLY interesting that I have to be labeled as a character from a TV show while on a DATE. "You're a lot like Sam from Cheers," no one ever says to me. Or, "you remind me of Stewie from Family Guy," I often never hear. Or "You're like that crusty, but lovable grandmother from that movie," everyone tells me.
Instead, I always get labeled as some female archetype. Each character on Sex And The City (for the straight men in the crowd) is essentially a type of woman. One is the tramp (Samantha), one is the independent no-nonsense worker bee (Miranda), and one is the goodie-goodie (Charlotte). Carrie, the final character, is a bit of an everywoman. She has traits everyone can identify with. She is the good girl, but liberated sexually. She works for her own money and supports herself, and yet also is the free spirit.
So, why do I get to be labeled as just one of the characters? Why can't I be all of them? Why can't I be a "Carrie?"
In essence, I was fine being labeled a Charlotte. She is sweet, always freshly dressed and very polished.
She is rich (something I am not - but score three for me if I come off looking like I am). She is polite, and nice, and good. She also sometimes can have a wild streak, although it's usually somewhat restrained. I am a lot of these things. And so, it's easy for someone you just meet to try to nail you down in a sentence so they can "get" you.
They want to know all about you, but instead of listening and dating you for years, they try to boil you down to a character from a TV show so they will know what they could get if they date you for years. It's like - what is your astrological sign? - for the non-crystals, non-hippie crowd.
The truth is somewhat more mixed. Life is not like a TV show. Life goes beyond the commercial break (if you even still watch TV live when there are commercials).
I am not a Charlotte. I am Greg. I don't own a huge, Upper East Side apartment. I rent a comfortable, yet small apartment in a "I've never heard of it" neighborhood of Brooklyn. My clothes aren't designer, but they aren't exactly bought from a dollar store either. (Seriously, if you know me at all by now - and surely you do because you read me every day - you KNOW I wear nice clothes.) And relationship-wise, I am all about certain dating etiquette rules like Charlotte, but I am less likely to be looking for a stockbroker/lawyer type from Harvard than she was.
I am me. And if, truth be told, I am probably more of a Miranda. (Straight guys: she was the no-nonsense one in the show.)
I don't like a lot of bullshit. I curse even! (Just like Miranda did a lot.) I don't have time for people's stupidity and I don't mess around. I am to the point usually and honest with my feelings. I also really enjoy my down time with TV, watching a British soap opera. I watch Downton Abbey (a real and totally awesome show - go watch it now), whereas Miranda watched Jules and Mimi (which never existed.)
The truth is: I really am not like Charlotte much beyond the completely superficial conversation aspect.
Unlike Charlotte, I am not perfect. I leave hair paste in my hair and go to work, for crying out loud!
Unlike her, I can buy my own drinks. I don't need someone to buy me a drink. It's nice if you do, but like Miranda, I will probably be skeptical about what your motives are.
Unlike her, I am happy to dress down. I like cute rolled up shorts, a fun striped tee long sleeve t-shirt, and flip flops. My flip flops are from Cole Haan and cost more than your breakfast, lunch and possibly dinner, but they are still flip flops (although extremely comfortable and stylish). Still, it's not Dolce.
Unlike her, I work. I pay my own bills. No one has ever offered to buy me things or take me away from it all. I'm not saying I'd be opposed to that idea. It just hasn't happened yet. No, seriously, I'm open to the idea. If I am coming across like I am unwilling, let me just be clear: I would love to not have to pay my own bills anymore. Just don't expect me to be some docile Barbie.
And I think guys - anyone really - will want to pigeon-hole you into that notion. You are either tough and independent or a good looking easy type who needs someone to do everything for them. Can't I have both? Can't I be it all and have it all?
So, don't put me in a corner. NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER.
My mere character is not equivalent to a literal character from a work of fiction. I know I have compared myself in a previous blog to the idea of Mary Richards taking on Minneapolis to myself taking on NYC, but I ended the comparison there. And, really, I just focused on the theme song and the idea of making it after all.
I am not Meredith Grey lusting after McDreamy. (Patrick Dempsey could call me, though. No, really, call me!!)
I am not Sue Ellen on Dallas, swigging from bottles of golden colored booze. Although who I am kidding? I am totally Sue Ellen 7 nights a week. That damn J.R.!!
I am not Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, even if I do like cheesy snack products. If only they made Sabor de Soledad! And I am pretty sure I would rock those glasses of hers.
Ultimately it seems that gays must compare each other to female characters on TV shows. And I think it's more funny to say it, than to be realistic about it. To have an ACTUAL conversation around it seems ridiculous. And I might have encouraged said conversation with a person, but let's bring it down a notch, ok, fellas?
I am way cooler and funny than anything network TV can put out. I am even better than HBO. I am better than Charlotte, or anyone of the gal pals.
Because I'm real.
Love,
A new character
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