There's Something About Gregory .... (and, yes, it involves hair paste)

I just want to start right off by saying: I use hair paste. Not gel. Gel is sticky, and paste blends in and leaves a more natural hand feel to my hair.




I have thick and naturally curly/wavy hair. And (if cut pretty short), I look like I simply have thick straight/wavy hair. Ultimately, though, it's the kind of curly hair that old ladies are very jealous of. And, yes, I am very lucky to have old women envy me. Score one for me!

But, back to the hair paste. I prefer a type of hair paste that is a bit heavy, so I only need just a little to blend into my hair carefully. I have tried many kinds and still use them, but ultimately have landed on a premium world-class product, made from someone who had his own Bravo TV Show. Yes!  Bravo TV! It gets classy!

Fans of the show "Blow Out" from the mid 2000s, may remember Jonathan Antin and his modestly self-named Jonathan product. He created a paste so divine he named it "Dirt." And I use Dirt on my hair from someone who was on Cable TV.



I am so ... glamorous?

Anyways, not only do I use "dirt," but I also am half awake most mornings when I need to get ready for work. Like most Americans who need a "value" size of coffee in their system before even getting out of bed, I don't even know my own name until I have had some java. It literally is a tough choice between: do I go into the kitchen and make coffee or go to the bathroom? I usually choose making coffee first.

Even with my IV bag of coffee, I still make critical errors in judgment. I forgot the umbrella and, oh yeah, it's gonna rain today. I also wore flip flops and shorts, and yep - still going to rain. Or gasp - I left my thermos of coffee on the kitchen counter instead of bringing it with me for work. This all happened to me in this week alone.



All of these mistakes is just the closest to hell that I ever could be on a Thursday. (Unless, I do actually go to hell. Honest! I promise to be good!)

But - bringing it to back to hair paste - have you guessed it? The biggest, most horrible error I made is: that I leave hair paste in my hair and then go to work.

And I have done this - not just once - but several times! Some might even say that this happens once a month.

I unfortunately rush while getting ready. I use eye cream and you're supposed to gently apply and rub in circles, but I just slap it on my face. I take careful time with flossing because that could hurt if done too quickly. But, oh yes, just like the eye cream - my hair is just kind of thrown together. Since I hate my hair, and usually like it spikey-looking, I kind of throw some paste in and move it around.

And somehow... I manage to leave a semi-noticeable glob of white in the back or top of my head. It's a fun fashion statement, perhaps? Nope, it's not. It's just weird.

The best part: people actually see this! AND SAY NOTHING! Total strangers, but still! It usually isn't until I get to work, and about 35 minutes later that someone walks by me and says "... uh...oh! I think you have something in your hair."

Now, sometimes I write drafts for this blog on my iPhone on the subway into work. I am my most creative in the morning (after my swimming pool of coffee has been enjoyed). So, I will sometimes write down rough ideas that pop into my head. As I typed down some notes for this blog, some kid next to me was reading my iPhone over my shoulder. He was starting to laugh. And I am pretty sure he checked me up and down and really checked my hair. True story!

I knew I had a winner of a blog post if I could have him laughing. Even total strangers think I'm funny? Score two for me!

So, I went into work yesterday - robust and proud - knowing I had a really funny (moderately funny?) blog post to write soon. I also felt a little stylish in my yellow suede Oxford shoes, and Active blue colored jeans, and a J. Crew "nautical" striped sweater. I looked good!



Until about 35 minutes into the work day.

You guessed it! On the very day I wanted to write about hair paste, well - hair paste had other plans! A big ol' glob was right on top of my head. PROVING MY STORY!! And also proving how total strangers don't tell me I have paste in my hair!! Even after I just inadvertently told them about this problem!!! UGH!

Thankfully, my coworker (who for the sake of the blog I will call, Yolanda) told me out loud - not discreetly - that I had hair paste in my hair.

But, she was a real pal. She actually used her own hand and mussed around in my stylish 'do to blend in the paste into my hair. She rolled up her sleeves (not literally) and got "dirty" (pardon the pun).

She did more than most strangers would. She did more than I even know how to do.

I really need a personal hair dresser every day. It will definitely be the first thing I do when I hit it big.

Love,
A Style Icon